It Doesn't Take Long

How to Drive Your Mother Crazy in 24 Hours or Less Without Even Really Trying

by the Children in our family

Start with a boot sticking out from under the kitchen counter,

and the other one in the middle of the living room, next to the pillows that are not allowed off the couches. (A sticker left upside down on the carpet, waiting to be stepped on, also adds a nice touch.)

Try leaving one magazine open and another wedged behind the cushion of the only chair,

and ponytail elastics and headbands on the couch.

Be sure to store a ball next to the couch,

and don't pick up the toilet paper you dropped on the bathroom floor.

(Don't flush, either.)

Leave a toy egg and a lego car by mom's bathroom sink,

a pair of pink flipflops under the table,

books all over the kitchen counters,

and a stuffed manatee on the old dining room table.

That ought to do the trick!

(It works sometimes with our mom, anyway!)

Garden Bounty

This is my garden. It consists of three large pots containing large, unproductive plants. We don't even know for sure what we planted. It's kind of pathetic.

OK, it's very pathetic!

Most of my friends have real gardens, the kind that get planted in the ground, on time, and that actually produce enough vegetables to eat.

Lucky for me, though, sometimes my friends have plants that overproduce, and they start giving fruits and vegetables away.

So far this summer we've been given blackberries, crookneck squash, basil and other herbs, yellow squash, cucumbers, green bell peppers, zucchini, and now cherry tomatoes. A lot of cherry tomatoes! (Thanks, Deborah!)

I kind of like this gardening business! My friends do all the work, and I reap only the benefits. I get to spend time with other moms, my kids get to play with other kids, and oh, yeah, we get to eat lots of yummy things, too!

Six Hours Later...

Today was our designated commissary shopping trip for the month, but we never just go to the commissary. If we're going to be out and about, I want to get it all done, so we don't have to go out again. So, we went to the PX mall, the commissary, Sam's Club, Walmart, and Kroger, and we did it all in almost exactly six hours. We got groceries, produce, cleaning supplies, diapers, and a new office chair, and while we were at Sam's Club, we also got a pair of glasses tightened.

The chair was in a huge box, and it wouldn't fit anywhere except for behind the passenger seat in the van, in front of the toddler's carseat. He liked his temporary footrest, though. My youngest daughter had two packages of toilet paper and a box of pears for her footrest, and the oldest two girls shared the back

row of the van with a huge insulated bag full of cold food.

It took me an hour to unload the van.

It took another half an hour to get all the cold food put away in the fridge and freezer, and all the rest of our purchases unpacked and set on the counter. They will live there temporarily in relative safety from my littlest helper until I have a chance to put them away.

I don't even want to talk about the state of my fridge.

Let's just say that we'll need to eat a lot of food before I can even begin to think about buying more milk or making yogurt.

I spent a lot of money. I am very, very tired.

I don't have to go back to the commissary until October (or so).

I'm not complaining! :)